The Bug and The Drama Queen

Friday Funnies


Enjoy!~

We shall start with a little video...



CHILDREN'S THOUGHTS ON:

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warmsummer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up andwaved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing aseat belt!'

2.) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of thejar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-olddaughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

3.) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself inthe women's locker >room. When he was spotted, the room burst intoshrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The littleboy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

4.) POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van infront of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me 'Is that a dog yougot back there?' he asked. It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the backof the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

5.) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week ofschool. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can'tread, I can't write and they won't let me talk!'

6.) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He wasfascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, somethingfell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What hesaw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama,look what I found, ' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

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FOR ALL MOMMIES OUT THERE...this is for you!

A man came home from work and found his three
children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in
the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn
all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the
front door to the house and there was no sign of the
dog.
Proceeding Into the entry, he found an even bigger
mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw
rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with
toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast
food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was
open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a
broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile
of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys
and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He
was worried she might be ill, or that something
serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made
its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap
and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet
paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared
over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the
bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day
went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What
happened here today?'
She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day
when you come home from work and you ask me what in
the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.
She answered, ' Well, today I didn't do it.'

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Now THIS is GREAT!!!

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS......
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an
attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello He's rather taken aback because he
can't place where he knows her from So he says,
"Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think
you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has
ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
"My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party
that I made love to on the pool table with all my
buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt
with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly..........
"No, I'm your son's teacher."

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And Last but not Least....

Happy Halloween to all you pumpkin lovers!