Parenthood-the movie-Total Vent- Feel free to skip this one
Starring: me
please note: some names have been changed in order to protect the privacy of these parties! :)
I am so................
I am so................
*stamps her foot*
*thrusts her fists in the air*
*clenches her teeth*
and tries VERY hard not to cry.
Last week, I got a note home from Bug's teacher saying:
Dear Kristi,
Just a note to share a concern about Bug. We have seen a signifigant slide in the quality of his work since the Christmas break. While he has performed well on his assessments, his independent working skills and and neatness has not been what we would hope for. He has also seemed quite distracted.
Journal writing has also been an issue. We have watched him just sit for long stretches of time, and not complete his journal. We have written a lot about the winter season and we thought his unfamiliarity with snow and cold weather might be contributing to his current struggle with writing, but I dont know that that is the case.
Please talk with Bug about the importance of completeing his journal in the morning and doing his best work every time. I will be sure that he is seated close to the front of the group at circle time and I will keep you posted about his progress....
Thanks!~the teacher.
So....I talk with Bug about how he needs to pay attention and do what he is asked. I also talk with him about how he needs to work hard and make sure his work is neat. I also decide to take away his precious 15 minute W*ii video game time that he gets with daddy right before he goes to bed. ...explaining that he needs to do well in school in order to get to have privledges at home.
I am confident at this point that the problem has been nipped in the bud.
As a side note: I am thinking at this point it is because I have slacked slightly in our daily routine of homework after dinner since the Christmas break. We (Brad and I) have started a "new members" class at church and on wed nights, this requires us to rearrange our schedules as far as dinner and the nightly routine go, and expand his 7:30 bedtime to a 9:00 one.
Not that this justifies his behavior any.
A second side note: as far as his "daily homework I do with him....we DO about 30 min extra work EACH night...between practicing handwriting, reading, sight words, and a fun math workbook....not to mention the homework he gets from school..which is about 4 pages ( we do 1 a night of those). He loves his homework time and often ASKS to do it before I say it's time.
Now I KNOW....one of the things I have said in the past, is about how I LOVE this school BECAUSE of the fact that it is rated top notch on the east coast, AND I loved the student/teacher ratio....AND the teachers really ARE awesome!
But then I get a second....far more confusing, note home yesterday....This one says:
Dear Kristi,
I wanted to let you know that Bug had a really difficult day today. He was very teary eyed and just could not 'get it together'.
I am concerned with Bug's lack of initiative in the area of problem solving. Since Christmas, we have noted that while his academics are on track with the other students, he has great difficulty thinking for himself and moving independently from one activity to another. Example: he ordered pepperoni pizza today for lunch. When we lined up for lunch I asked the children who ordered pizza to line up; they all did so except for Bug. Bug continued to sit on the carpet until I insrtucted him to line up. We have had quite a few instances like this. When we stand firm and expect him to think and work it out for himself, he becomes very upset and cries. We feel badly about this, but sometimes feel that it is a necessary thing in order to force him to think for himself and not wait to be rescued.
Our expectations for students are alway high, but I think they are fair and attainable. The expectations become higher during the latter part of the year as we look toward 1st grade. I want to see a greater independence as we move toward the goal of a well prepared first grader.
I would like to talk with you about his further and perhaps we could come up with some strategies to help Bug become a more proficient problem solver and independent worker.
Please let me know which afternoon would be good for you next week.
Thanks! ~the teacher
*stamps her foot again*
O.K. lets do the positives first:
I am GLAD she is kind enough to notify me of a concern early on so we can work together to resolve it.
I am GLAD she cares enough to offer me solutions instead of expecting ME to know what to do.
I am GLAD the ciriculum is so hard and that they expect so much from their students, I have seen Bug GROW so much these last few months.
I am GLAD Bug truly enjoys the teacher, and his school and talks for 10 min after he gets home from school, about what he did.
BUT: (and there is a big BUT)
he IS in kindergarten..
he IS in kindergarten..
he IS in kindergarten!!!
Have you ever seen the movie "Parenthood" with Ste*ve Mar*tin????
I feel like he did.
Here is a clip I found...not the one I wanted...but close enough...
I have a son that is over-emotional...
and a daughter who, in the past, HAS placed things on her head and ran into the wall.
And then to top it off, I get a report card as well yesterday with O's and S's.(outstanding and satisfactory) Plus a few +'s (indicating he is above and beyond his age group) And only 1 S-.(in independent work)
So MY thinking is....
He is doing well in school ACADEMICALLY....
He is NOT a disturbance in the class
So WHY is this a huge thing that he didnt line up....perhaps he didnt hear?! Or understand what you meant....I don't know.
All I know is that all was fine as he got off the bus and told me what a good day he had, and then I get this note...(which upsets me right away as a first reaction)tell him I have a note that says otherwise and he has a COMPLETE meltdown. He didnt even KNOW he had a bad day!?!?! How is this possible. I read him the note and ask him why he didn't line up.....he said "the pizza wasn't good" I don't get it. Did he DELIBERATLY ignore her. Or what?
So after the meltdown and realizing he had NO idea....I start to question my "punishment". Did he deserve it? He didnt do anything wrong, so to speak.
It all boils down to a parent/teacher meeting at 3 on Tues.
I dont want to go in there defensive, because I KNOW she is trying to help. So how do I get a handle on my emotions, and allow her to help??
Any suggestions?
I am trying not to read too much into this.....I mean...he is doing GREAT
Hmmm...well I seem to be a queen of notes from the teacher..... I'm going to say he's fine, the teacher is just overreacting. It sounds to me as if she's trying to say (in blunt terms) he has no attention span and that he's lacking cognitive skills. If you haven't noticed something wrong, nothing probably is. I would go to the conference and listen to what she says, take it like a grain of salt and try to move on. I really hope she doesn't try to have you have a eval on him.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't punish him at all just talk about school over dinner each and see if he tells you anything. Make sure if he has a problem, tell the teacher. If he doesn't understand, tell the teacher. Independence is good but like you said, he's still in K and needs some guideance. Heck I was still helping 2nd grader boys at school, reading and taking Accelerated Reader tests till Novemember. Some of boys in my 3rd and 4th grade Awana class don't listen all the time and cry occasionally but it's not every week.
And just so you feel better since Dominic is only a few months in age behind Sammy here's mine for the week. "Still really working hard on sharing issues. When new toys arriv in the class he has trouble wanting to share. We explained how others are hurt when we don't share with them. He cried for 20 minutes of the morning on not wanting to share."
Kristi
ReplyDeleteI think Bug is fine also. I am actually having the same trouble with T. He too is my sensitive boy. I feel the exactly the same way. He is ONLY in kindergarten. The teacher is telling me he is having trouble reading and with rhyming words. I was so upset. I think they are pushing kids so much earlier. It is so sad.
I do not think you should punish Bug. You and I have so many things in common. Bug sounds just like my T and Drama Mama sounds like my A.
If you need to talk or someone to relate to just email me. If you need my email address just post to the board.
Carrie
hey girl,
ReplyDeleteI agree that he's fine. He's a boy!! Kaleb has had many issues this year as far as his self-control and emotional control goes. I have designed a plan for him with rewards and consequenses for each day as they come. However Kaleb is 9 and in 3rd grade. So it's totally different
Sammy is learning and it's his first year of shcool going all day everyday, that in itself is a big adjustment. I'd go to the conference and listen to them but also explain that he seems to think he's doing fine and didn't realize he ws having troubles. That he loves school and is excited each day to do his homework.
One thing I did with kaleb his first few years of school is keep a notebook between me and his teacher. This allows a daily communication betewwn the two of you. She writes in it at the end of the day with BOTH positive feedback and things that may not have gone as well. Then you know everyday how his day went. This way you can talk to sammy about all of it,
you then sign the notebook and make a note in it yourself if you need to. Sammy then also knows that you and his teacher are communicating each day. I don't think I would give a consequence unless he had a REALLY bad day and knew it.
Otherwise, let him be a boy who is still learning in his FIRST real year of school. Hang in there girl you'll get through it!! Believe me if I can with my boy ANYONE CAN!!LOL!!
Love Tera
I guess I will have to be the devil’s advocate here, but I enjoy that anyways.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think what the teacher is doing is great. Of course none of us ever wants a note home or anything even REMOTELY negative about our child. The first reaction is always going to be very defensive as it's about your child that you love so dearly and is also about how you raised them. It is great that "bug" is doing very well academically but when he gets into older and higher grades, his social behavior will be very important. If he is not listening to teachers now, or if they have to push him to do things, that will only get worse and worse in my opinion.
I would go to the meeting with the teacher with an open mind and realize only good can come from it. Listen to what she has to say and if you don't agree with it then go from there, find out other opinions on what you can do to improve his behavior.. It can't hurt to hear what another person has to say that has been doing this and working with kids for years. With the way the letter was worded, it seemed that the teacher really cared and wanted to help you with suggestions to overcome these small behavioral issues. I think discipline is very key into how a child acts, and it's up to you and Brad to enforce it. No one is saying act like a monster, but the earlier you teach them discipline the easier it will be when the grades really do matter.
Sammy is a great kid and sounds like he is doing amazing in his actual work. That’s something to hold on to and realize when you’re in that meeting with the Teacher and to help keep you less defensive. I am sure it will be hard, but give it a try. Good luck, keep us posted.
Good idea Tera with the notebook. Sounds like something that you could discuss and show Sammy exactly how the teacher feels, and how you feel as well.
-Josh
Kristi Ann-
ReplyDeleteNot only do I think he is fine, I think his behavior is very normal considering his academic environment seems to be stressful and not fun. I am a firm believer in very young children learning through activity and play, not through rote academics (hence my interest in Waldorf) and Bug is really little, so young and the academic work load expected of these really small kids is pretty insane (IMO).
I appreciate what the teacher is trying to achieve but because I think the educational approach for these little kids is off I am not sure things will improve through punishments or even a reward system. And even more worrisome is that when children this little feel so much academic pressure they are more likely to NOT like school, so much so that it becomes a really large problem as they progress through the grades because they are bored with the academic lessons, stressed by both parents and teachers and stuck learning in a style that rarely promotes true learning and *comprehension*. Most everything in public schools are dictated by No Child Left Behind and by standardized tests.
Anyway, if I were meeting with the teacher I would express my concern about the stress placed on the kids and ask what the school is doing to involve children in real world activities that will not only promote learning in a more natural way but keep the kids interested.
I hope this works out for all involved. I know my ideas are slightly left of mainstream but I thought I'd throw them out there.
((HUGS))
Hugs! Call me tomorrow and we will talk! So sorry about the notes.
ReplyDelete