The Bug and The Drama Queen

Mountains out of Molehills....

I have already had emails and calls asking me how my meeting with Bug's teacher's went. Thank you ALL for your concern, kind words, advice, and your tolerance with allowing me to vent my frustrations....even if they ARE kinda kooky! :)

O.k let's get to the meeting....

I went....and THIS is how the meeting began....

ha...ha

Brad had the day off (which was nice, so he could watch both the kids and I could talk with the teacher uninterrupted) so we both head over to the school about 3 o'clock with the little miss.

We walk into his classroom, and Mrs G. his "teachers helper/assistant" is the only one in there.

She looks at me all confused and says "I just put Bug on the bus".....

thinking she is joking I say "No, you didnt" and smile

She looks at me and says "yes I did...there was no note to hold him"

I looked at Brad then at her, and I say...."I understand that, where is Mrs H? I have a meeting with her and SHE told me she would hold him so he would be here when we arrived"

Mrs G looks at me and says "she didnt mention anything like that....so we put him on the bus home."

sidenote: thank goodness... here..if the parent isn't STANDING outside in the driveway....the bus driver's arent allowed to let the kids off the bus (I think this applies to grades K-3) instead taking them back to the school where they remain in an after school program until the parents are contacted.

"Where is Mrs H?" I ask...noting she is not in the room

"She will be here in about 10 min...she stepped out"

I look at Brad...tell him to please run and see if he can't catch the bus since I KNOW Bug will NOT be happy. We had made it a point to remind him over and over that he would NOT be taking the bus home that day. Brad leaves.

Mrs H walks in...

Mrs G catches her at the door and asks her about Bug.

She looked (appropriately) stricken.

And then explains that she had a mind slip, and even though Bug made it a point to tell her he wasn't supposed to get on, she had forgotten.

She apologized over and over.

Brad catches the bus....gets Bug off....all is well and safe.

NOT a good way to start off....but hey...this IS ME we are talking about.

Anyway....I sit down at a table with her and we start....

I have had time to settle down and get some GREAT advice from friends and family, so I am entering this with an open mind, and my feathers UNruffled.

She starts off by telling me Bug is doing EXCELLENT academically, and is such a sweet, sweet boy.

Then asks me how i responded to the note.

I am honest and I tell her....I had my cry, I grabbed my gun (joke by the way), I ranted, and then I asked for advice and realized how over the top I was making it.

She laughed, agreed, and said she is used to it. She HAS been doing this for 20 years at the SAME school, SAME grade...and is sooooo LOVED by all the students.

I explained how confused I was....with both the notes, and what they meant.

She said she was afraid of that and that was why she wanted to talk to me. She also reminded me I had told her in the beginning of the year to please come to me with any concerns they had.

I agreed 100% and told her that though NO parent wants a note home, I sincerly appreciated that she HAD noticed a change, informed me, and now we can work TOGETHER to find a solution.

Then she went on to explain WHAT the note meant. (boy, was I WAY off base)

She said he was doing great with everything except one area. And that it wasnt a big deal, but it could potentially become one if we don't address it.

Problem Solving.

He isnt thinking for himself.

She says its like he almost doesnt want to do something without you TELLING him to do it. Like he is afraid of failing.....or doing something wrong so he sits there and waits for you tell him what to do, where to go, and what to get.

<<>>

So THIS is where it becomes MY problem.

I need to allow him to be more independent.

I guess since he was a newborn I have always been there and done everything for him..NOT even realizing I was hindering him. Like when he needs a spoon for his yogurt...I get it. If he needs water....I get it. I do EVERYTHING. All I demand in return is manners. As long as he says "Mom, may I have....." I normally have no problem doing it.

I NEED TO STOP.

She suggested allowing him to sort the silverware as a chore, or the sock from the clean laundry.

She also suggested that I NOT stand there and watch him do it. To walk away.

Hmmmm....walk away? completely foreign to me. :) LOL

They have also had another student join their class since Christmas, and she said this has caused quite a disruption in a lot of the students....Bug included. But things are finally starting to settle in.

I asked her about his listening (since that is how i interpreted the note...that he wasn't listening) and she said he listens GREAT....ALL it is, is the problem solving.

In other words.....

He DIDN'T need to be punished in any way (bad mom of the year award goes to....me!)

She went on to say again, that he was a great student, and a very kind hearted little man, and that though she was worried that he may be too young in the beginning of the year...she has never seen a student grasp something so fast, the way he does. She thinks he is doing, and will do just fine.

<<>>

See? Thats what I get for wasting ALL that energy worrying....

AND....

MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS!!!